Re-reading 'Mindsight': Seeing Myself Through Integration, Memory, and Connection

This month, I read “Mindsight” for the second time.

I originally thought it was just to catch up on reading notes—just going through the motions—but I gained a lot more than expected. Probably because when I first read it, I wasn’t in as good a mental and physical state as now, so I couldn’t fully appreciate the concepts in the book. This re-read felt completely different.

Balance: Between “Differentiation” and “Integration”

“Integration is a state between chaos and rigidity—independent voices linking harmoniously together, with complexity and vitality simultaneously maximized.”

Last semester, I seemed to be constantly avoiding “integration,” single-mindedly pursuing “differentiation” in every aspect: diet, library, courses, martial arts, walking, cycling—I wanted to be different in everything. The result was that I recognized a fundamental flaw in being human—energy is limited.

I couldn’t simultaneously give high attention to my major, reading, and martial arts. This re-reading made me understand that life needs “integration.” Whether it’s connecting with teachers or discussing problems with classmates, it all made me feel great. It turns out going alone is fast, but to go far, you need more than just willpower—you need the ability to integrate, to become part of something bigger.

Memory: Discovering Meaning in Family Trivialities

“Before life ends, the discovery of memory and meaning never ends.”

Just as the more you learn, the more you discover your own ignorance. Continuously completing your memory through life’s trivialities, you’ll discover the truth behind many specific descriptions, leading to deeper self-understanding.

Going home for Spring Festival this year, I didn’t immerse myself in games like previous years. Instead, I had more energy to spend time with family, and there was more mutual understanding between us. Facing a bunch of family members arguing, I no longer just believed in “separation of issues” and chose to stand aside. Instead, when they misunderstand each other or have conflicts, I help explain (though sometimes I get dragged into it).

Because of this, our communication is no longer all intense verbal venting. When Mom expresses her attachment to the tradition of “returning to her parents’ home” on the second day of the New Year, when Dad complains about the helplessness of social obligations… those contradictory moments in my memory finally seemed to be completely resolved at the moment of communication.

Connection: From Weak Ties to Strong Ties

“Although their cortex may have adapted to avoidance and keeping people at arm’s length, their limbic system and brainstem still know that life needs connection.”

The “connection” mentioned in the book, I believe, includes both weak and strong connections.

Casual greetings, a few words on WeChat—these are typical weak connections. They can make you feel like things are lively, but they’re hard-pressed to relieve the inherent loneliness of existence. But deep communication environments created through things like “not looking at phones while eating” always leave warmth in your heart afterward. That’s a strong connection.

This slowed-down time at home also made me discover that excessive busyness really does cover up your true heart. Turns out I’m a “mama’s boy,” hahahaha.

Finally, let me end with a little poem mentioned in the book:

“May there always be sunshine, may there always be good times, may there always be Mama, may there always be me.”

I also hope I can arm myself with beautiful things, shed that oppressive “office worker” energy, explore the world with more curiosity, and at the same time possess my own rich inner world.